A Highly overrated term called “Friendship”

October 23, 2011

These days if one watches television one cannot escape from one ad doing the rounds of a particular telecom company, the theme of which is “friendship” and one very catchy line of the ad goes on like “har ek friend jaroori hota hai” (each friend isnecessary). While I would be the first one to admit that the said line iscatchy and the music of the mentioned ad is wonderful to say the least, butthen that’s it. The relevance of the ad with the reality of life ends there.

It is very easy for all of us to think on the lines similar to what has been portrayed in the ad but thenwhat’s been showcased there very rarely happens in real life. I do admit that friends play in very important role in our lives especially when we are in our
formative years (i.e school/college). But as we grow and get ourselves entangled with the complexities (read responsibilities) of life, the seeds of friendship which each one of us sow during our formative years tend to dismantle. Thereafter comes a phase in life where one wonders that what appened to the scores of friends one used to hang out during college days and when the necessity really arises when you yearn for some ‘company’ it is the close knit group of family and some indeed special ‘friends’ who have stuck around your life essentially no matter what.

I guess clever corporate houses and big media barons have realised this difference in the concept of ‘friendship’ between the formative (school/college) years and the years one be in professional life (no matter whatever profession you belong to), and that is precisely the reason in the major ads which we get to see on the broad idea of ‘friendship’ it is this segment (school/college going students) that they target those ads
to, rarely you will find an ad directed at we boring working people.

One of the main reasons issimply the one which we have discussed before and the second reason is our so called grown up minds. Me and you having had been into some profession over years will dissect the pros and cons of buying something to its lowest limit. This is not something which we did when we were young. To understand this more precisely I would like to take all of us back to those days when we were so carefree and there was a certain degree of orderliness even amidst all the chaotic life we used to live back then. Talk of going for a movie and we knew that there would be someone say, “Ram” who was invariably very good at booking the tickets and taking all of us to the movie. All we had to do was to get ready (or even not do so) and be at the place of pick up point.

Similary, talk of arranging for a lunch/dinner which used to happen once a month (or at times in 2 months) where each one of us would secretly keep looking at that one girl who would otherwise never even let us be even stand close to 5 m her radius (so what if there would be 10 guys looking at one girl only). Even for these situations we had a certain “Joe” who was very proficient in arranging for these kinds of gatherings and always shared a good reputation in both boys and girls hostel.


Even for our assignments/notes there used to be a certain “Ramesh” whose work always used to be the final word. No questions asked, no issues raised and we all religiously used to copy whatever we got our hands to because we had faith “usne kiya hai toh thik hi kiya hoga” (if he has done it then it must be good). It was that herd mentality which ruled us at that time and the thing like “if one does everyone else follows” has been very well milked by the corporates time and again.


So we all know now that it is that essential element called ‘faith’ which now is missing in all of our respective
lives thanks to the ‘professionalism’ which have acquired. Those days we all were for each other partially due to the fact we always stayed together (either in hostel or used to be together in colleges’ hours) and also due to the reason that we all had pretty much nothing else to do as well.


Coming back to the topic of this post why I chose to call this term ‘overrated’ because these days even normal people like you and me try to milk the advantage of this otherwise very beautiful word “friendship”. One often hears from someone “you have forgotten out friendship, u never called/messaged”. For a moment even if I agree with that as a mistake from my side then it should also hold true for the person who is asking me the question. “If I did not reach out to what was it that stopped ‘you’ from doing so in the first place?” It is this abuse of this term which I think
has converted it into a very overrated thing.


Well from certain personal experiences and also seeing the things happening around me I would like to say only one thing that those who indeed are your friends and should the necessity arise ever, they will come to you even at the drop of a hat (even if you have never been in ‘touch’ in the interim). Those who always chant the rhymes of “friendship” but rarely turnout when you really need them are well … do I even need to say
what should be done ?


 To sum up “har ek friend jaroori nahii hota” (each friend is not necessary).


P.S: I wish the “Ram”, “Joe” and “Ramesh” of my life to be with me always.


Signing off:


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